Don't Tell Me Happy Birthday

I’ve been deep in the final manuscript of my book these past few weeks but I wanted to pop out for a moment to make a shameless announcement: it’s my birthday today.

And here’s the twist: I don’t want you to tell me happy birthday.

Earlier this year, I wrote a piece for Psychology Today called Stop Saying ‘Happy Birthday.’ It was a response to those familiar work chats, group texts, or events when knowledge of someone's birthday triggers a chorus of well-meaning but generic wishes. Speaking for myself, when I receive those they are nice, but pretty forgettable.

So yes, today is my birthday. And pair that with a a beautiful Mindful Sundays gathering I co-hosted with my friend John on the power of celebrating one another, it left me wanting to issue this invitation:

Let’s spend more time celebrating people. Not generically but specifically. Not just clicking on the autocomplete 'Happy Birthday' but out of the desire for our celebration of someone to actually be felt. Here are the core ideas from that article:

• Birthdays are chances to help someone feel deeply recognized. Let’s not waste them.
• A generic “happy birthday” is easy—but what people remember is genuine appreciation.
• Before you say anything, ask yourself: What do I actually appreciate about this person? And then… say that.

I’m curious: how do you feel about generic congratulations, quick “HBDs,” or reflexive responses? Do you have any fun ways you like to do it differently? Aspirations moving forward?

And I want you to know I do appreciate all birthday wishes...no pressure 🤣 🎂

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