"Thanks for everything" is not gratitude
Let's try true appreciation this Thanksgiving š¦
A week out from Thanksgiving, Iām sharing my Federal News Network article from earlier this year on what genuine appreciation looks like, vice the rote āthank yousā we getāand TBD giveāso often.
Thanks for reading Human Bureaucracy! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.
This Thanksgiving, as you spend time with loved ones, notice how it feels to give real appreciation for the food, the time away, and each other. I suspect youāll like it as much a second slice of pie.
Recognition Isnāt Enough: How Genuine Appreciation Can Transform Federal Work
By Alex Snider
Federal workers rarely receive thank you notes. Neglect from the public or politicians is expected; whatās surprising is how rare appreciation can be in their own workplaces. After 15 years in government, Iāve seen firsthand how federal offices often overlook appreciation or boil it down to token gestures. But true appreciation isnāt a luxury, nor is it complicated. Itās a simple way every federal employee can contribute to a resilient and supportive workplaceāand maybe even improve their own well-being along the way.
Our biology needs appreciation
Humans are hardwired for connection and belonging because our ancestorsā survival depended on it. Appreciation serves as a key indicator of that sense of belonging, with significant implications for both our home and work lives.
Recognizing this, Gary Chapman, creator of the five love languages concept, extended the idea into the workplace in 2019. The Five Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace, co-authored with Paul White, highlights the practical benefits, including the fact that appreciated employees are fifty-nine percent less likely to quit. The Harvard Business School reinforces this finding, stating that for workplace motivation, āwhat really matters is helping employees feel appreciated.ā As Chapman and White write, āpeople want to be valued not just for what they do, but for who they are.ā
Expressing appreciation doesnāt just help others feel valuedāit also boosts our happiness. Decades of research show that cultivating a habit of gratitude can rewire your brain, leading to lasting improvements in mental health.
Our bureaucracy needs appreciation
All workplaces need appreciation, but itās even more important in the federal workforce. First, as Michael Lewis highlights in The Fifth Risk, praise from the public or politicians is unreliable, particularly given the long-term, behind-the-scenes, and preventative nature of government work. Internal recognition is a vital counterbalance.
Second, public service often involves monumental problems and frequent setbacks. Without appreciation for effort, not just results, itās easy to become disillusioned. While working on democracy in South Sudan at the State Department, for example, it was heartbreaking to see the country slip back into conflict. Yet, despite the setbacks, my leadershipās appreciation made me feel valued and supported.
Finally, bureaucracy can be dehumanizing. Rigid rules make employees feel like mere numbers. Feeling like just another box on an org chart, rather than a valued individual, can be deeply disheartening. Individual care and gratitude from managers can help counteract this anonymity.
Missing the mark in government
Federal employees do not feel valued. According to the 2023 Federal Employee Viewpoint Survey, only 46% of federal employees feel meaningfully recognized for their performance. And itās telling that the only major government-wide appreciation event is hosted by an external nonprofit.
To address this need, however, we need to differentiate recognition and appreciation. Recognition focuses on behavior. It is a top-down tool to reward employees for their work, often in an impersonal and routine manner. Appreciation, on the other hand, is relational and specific. It acknowledges the unique contributions of team members through direct and specific gratitude.
Recognition is a good first step, but if we think itās enough, weāre missing the mark. Annual ceremonies with framed generic certificates, years-in-service āawards,ā or the hopelessly bland āthanks for everythingā donāt satisfy. Even cash awards can ring hollow if not accompanied by specific gratitude.A few years ago, I attended an annual recognition ceremony at a sprawling State Department conference center. The formal setting, routine acknowledgments, and scripted thank-yous made for an event with the glow of a mandatory meeting.
Appreciation should be part of ceremonies like these, but true appreciation is an everyday practice that we can weave into meetings, events, and routine interaction.
Barriers to appreciation
Even though Iāve tried to make it a part of my daily routine I don't express gratitude as often as I should. Itās tough to find time for appreciation in packed meeting agendas and Iāve also fallen into the trap of thinking that if I donāt send a thank you note right away, itās too late.
In fast-paced government work, showing heartfelt acknowledgment can feel awkward or out of place. Iāve worried that showing appreciation could be seen as a distraction, particularly during formal meetings, or that acknowledging someone too warmly might come across as a sign of weakness or even flattery.
A final barrier is the fact that people ā surprise ā arenāt perfect. Who among us hasnāt replied late to an email, missed a deadline, or been a tad cranky in a meeting? But this shouldnāt prevent us from appreciating, or being appreciated, for the many positives. In fact, Fast Company argues that āwhen things go wrong is precisely when employees need to feel valued.ā
Doing it differently
That government culture isnāt naturally infused with gratitude is not an excuseāitās a call to leadership. We desperately need to break through the formality of org charts and performance plans to tell people what they mean to us.
Leaders desperately need to feel appreciated, too. Take my mother, who was in senior management at the State Department for decades. She routinely brought baked goods to team meetings, but she canāt recall ever being thanked for it. And by the way, itās never too late to say thank you.
Appreciation doesnāt have to be complicated. For example, during weekly team meetings at the State Department, we spent the first five minutes giving out ācamelā and ārhinoā awardsāsmall stuffed animals that served as tokens of appreciation as they sat at the employeeās desk for the week. Donāt underestimate small gestures. A heartfelt thank-you might reach a coworker on a rough week and help them feel seen when they need it most. Iāll never forget the separate vegan treat a former boss baked for me for an offsiteāit was a simple act, but it made me seen and valued.
Meaningful thank you notes can make a real difference ā and everyone has time to write them. In 2013, I was a young diplomat trying to find my place as I was supporting the UN General Assembly meetings in New York. I was floored when I received a personalized thank you note from Williams Burns, then Deputy Secretary of State, now CIA director. I still have that noteānot just as a reminder of my worth, but as a key lesson in leadership.
Iāve also experienced the impact of expressing more appreciation. A former State Department colleague and I have been daily gratitude partners since 2021. After over 1,000 emails with one thing weāre grateful for, Iāve noticed a shift in my attention, from the frustrations of people and the bureaucracy to seeing more of the good in others.
Beyond recognition: how you can contribute to culture change
Regardless of your role, everyone can contribute toāand benefit fromāmaking appreciation a daily workplace habit. Here are four places to get started:
1. Make appreciation personal. Thank you is not a complete sentence. Adding in ā..forā and ā..becauseā are key to making appreciation meaningful.
2. Be intentional about format: Consider whether a handwritten note, quick email, or tailored GIF would be most meaningful. While public and private appreciation both have a place, remember that some people balk at public recognition, while others, perhaps junior employees, rarely get the limelight.
3. Use actions, not just words: The Five Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace shares numerous ways you can make others feel valued. Invite a colleague to coffee, help them with a rote task, or show up at their happy hour or presentation..
4. Develop a habit of appreciation: Set a daily reminder to send a note of appreciation to someone, find a work gratitude partner, or keep a gratitude journal.
A Call to Appreciation in Federal Work
In the bestselling 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Steven Covey writes āNext to physical survival, the greatest need of a human being is psychological survivalāto be understood, to be affirmed, to be validated, to be appreciated.ā I learned this lesson the hard way. One of the biggest mistakes of my State Department career happened while I was speaking at a major event in Senegal. In imperfect French I lavishly thanked the host government but failed to publicly acknowledge my team lead on the ground. That oversight left her in tears, and our relationship never fully recovered.
In the often anonymous and thankless world of government work, recognition alone can make us feel replaceableālike we are just some body. But genuine appreciation tells us we are somebody.
As hundreds of new tech workers join the federal workforce and we navigate a challenging political transition, appreciation is an essential tool to maintain the health and resilience of our workforce. Thank you notes may not be why people join public service, but in these challenging times, they could very well be the reason they choose to stay.
Thanks for reading Human Bureaucracy! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.